As I Am Now

Thank you for all the kind comments regarding my post about the ninth anniversary of my brain injury. I was thinking about the prayer that my mystery man prayed over me all those years ago, and thought how applicable it still is to me today, not so much as in concerns my brain injury but in my whole life.

The meds I take to help me function make it difficult for me to lose weight despite a clean diet and working out 5-6 days a week. Believe me, that is frustrating!  The words are also apply to how I relate to my husband and our son as a loving wife and mommy.

They also apply to days like today, when I wrote on my personal Facebook page, "Today I have successfully found a lot of ways not to do things." On a related sidenote: does anyone know which adhesive to use to stack cardboard letters? I can say with confidence that super glue, glue gun glue, rubber cement, velcro, and magnets do not work.

Since my Pinterest challenge project is still getting the kinks worked out, I made this printable instead.

Linked to:

Blissful & Domestic * Crystal & Co. * House of Hepworths * Mums Make Lists * Shabby Creek Cottage * Southern Lovely 

Nine Years Ago: My Brain Inju-versary

Nine years ago I was an associate marketing director for a pretty well-known publishing company. I had just turned in the final manuscript to my first book to a different publisher, and was gearing up for a busy season of balancing my day job with the additional demands of promoting my book. It was January, and as is common in Michigan, we had a day of freezing rain, followed by a day of heavy snow, meaning that the heavy snow hid the slick ice underneath.

Around 1pm, I drove about a 1/2 mile down the road to a convenience store to pick up some snacks. I was single and had the time and motivation to work late that night. I had a new project I was working on and was planning to really dig in. As I walked back to my car, I slipped on some ice and smacked my head on the hard surface below. I don't know what exactly I hit it on. The curb? A column? The sidewalk? I don't know if I passed out, or if I did, for how long. I don't know if anyone saw me or tried to help me. I got up...and drove home. I called a colleague and uttered some nonsense that drew her concern. 

She drove over to my house and found me on my couch, still wearing my wet clothes--I had spilled my drink and was bleeding from my sprained arm. She drove me to the ER. I told the doctor I was fine except for my arm. They x-rayed the arm, but didn't do a CT scan of my brain. My arm was put in a sling and I was sent home to rest and call my regular doctor to follow up. 

Source unknown. I've seen this on Facebook and Pinterest, but with no source.

The details are unclear to me after that, but for some wonderful reason, a friend spent the night with me. I had a horrible headache the next day and went to the hospital. I was told I had a concussion and was referred to our local brain injury program for an evaluation. I was told I couldn't return to work until after my consult...two weeks from then. I thought that was ridiculous.

I have no idea how I spent those two weeks. I think I slept...a lot. When I went for my evaluation, I was skeptical and a little annoyed by all the fuss. I really thought I was fine. I talked to the neurologist, then met with a physical therapist, speech therapist, and occupational therapist. From my point of view, I was wasting their time. Then, when I was sitting on a chair talking to the OT, she asked me to close my eyes and turn my head. I fell out of the chair. And was scared out of my mind.

I was an independent single woman with a mortgage. Even though I was financially stable with no debt besides my mortgage, a healthy savings account, and a growing 401k, I was worried that a few more weeks off would cause me to get too far behind in my goals. I didn't realize that I would never successfully work full time again.

Every January 21, I reflect on how my life has changed since The Fall. My personality has changed a lot. I like to joke that Miss Type A is now a type Z. I just can't handle deadlines, stress, or goals. I live in the moment now. Nine years ago, I craved organization as a way to control my environment. Now I need organization to function. I like to think I am a kinder, more accepting person now. I'm more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt because I know that the outside doesn't always show what's going on inside. 

I don't talk a lot about the fact that according to the government, I am disabled. People tend to have the idea that if you are disabled, you are only as good as your worst day. I do have plenty of bad days. In a typical month, I have a measurable headache for about 25 of them. For 5 or 6 of those days, I can hardly function. And that's after nine years of recovering and learning to live within my limits. If I keep away from crowds, restaurants, stress, bright lights, loud sounds, etc., I have more good days. Sometimes, those I love are more important than my discomfort and I make a sacrifice for the moment knowing I will be paying for it for the next few days, like going to a wedding reception. On the other hand, I often suggest counter options, like meeting a friend at our nice, quiet house instead of a restaurant. And sometimes I put my foot down, like making it clear that my son will never have a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.

In the last nine years, I have lost a lot:

1. A job that I loved and the ability to work full time.
2. The ability to write professionally, including a book contract for the sequel to my first book (the half-completed Getting to I Do After Mom and Dad Said I Don't) and other books in progress.
3. The ability to remember details of my life after about three months unless I take and review LOTS of photos.
4. A few friendships.
5. My entire savings and 401k, in a vain effort to save...
6. My house.
7. Freedom to drive on busy or unknown roads, at night, in rain or snow, to go to concerts, or amusement parks, or do activities I loved like playing volleyball, where there is a risk of hitting my head or falling.
8. The ability to take my health for granted.
9. The ability to say yes to something without the disclaimer that I may have to cancel if I'm not feeling well that day.

But after nine years, I've made peace with those losses. I don't like them, but I have a hard time remember what it was like before. 

More importantly, nine things I'm grateful for are:

1. That I am less independent and more open to be interdependent. I'm certain that this has greatly helped my ability to be happily married.
2. Life in the slow lane. I'm not in a rush for anything. I am grateful for things I did not see before amidst my to do lists and goals.
3. I am not affected by what people think of me. It isn't that I don't care, but when I am out, all of my energy is focused on keeping track of where my son is, getting the items on my list, and getting safely back home. If I happen to pass someone I know, I may come across as rude, but truly, I don't see anything outside my narrow field of vision. My brain has learned to disregard what my eyes don't need to see.
4. My brain injury made my heart ready to meet the love of my life. I can't imagine a more perfect match for me. We joke that the old Jen wouldn't have given Niels the time of day, but the brain-injured Jen was able to open her heart to the best thing that ever happened to her.
5. Becoming mommy to D. I was 32 when I hit my head. When I realized how serious it was, I lost hope that I would ever marry, let alone have a child. D is my miracle boy.
6. I know who my true friends are. I was pretty flakey after my TBI. I don't blame people for figuring I wasn't worth the effort. I am utterly grateful for those who stuck with me.
7. I learned to cook and I love doing it.
8. It is easier for me to prioritize. I can't do everything. That's a given. Things like making my bed take up precious mental energy that I'd rather use on something else. If my son is alive and I've made a meal for our family, it's a good day. Anything else is gravy.
9. I have a good excuse to nap every day.

We don't talk much about our Christian faith on this blog, not because it isn't important to us, but because it's not the nature of this blog and we want everyone to feel welcome here. But, my faith was a big part of my coming to terms with my brain injury. Several years ago, I met a man who was a neuropsychologist. As I shared a little about what I was going through, and how I was struggling to identify with my new normal, he asked if he could pray with me. I have no idea who that man was, but his words were so healing to me:

May I experience joy...as I am now

May I have peace with myself...as I am now

May I have patience with myself...as I am now

May I show kindness to myself...as I am now

May I seek the goodness in myself...as I am now

May I renew faithfulness in my life...as I am now

May I show gentleness to myself...as I am now

May I exhibit self-control in my thoughts toward myself...as I am now.

May I love myself...as I am now

Wise words of marriage and parenting advice, too, now that I think about it. 

Yesterday at church, our pastor spoke about weathering the storms in life. A few of the songs we sang really brought me back to those hard first years. Songs like Matt Redman's "Blessed Be Your Name" and Horatio Spafford's "It is Well".

Nine years later, my life is not perfect, but it is very well.

If you'd like to know about how my brain injury has influenced the building of our home and our every day life, check out these posts:

My Spare Spoon (03.13.12)

Aging in Place (01.04.12)
Building with a Brain injury (08.13.11)

Linked to:
Alderberry Hill * Blissful & Domestic * Bowl Full of Lemons *  Carolyn's Homework * Clean & Scentsible * Crystal & Co * Home Stories from A to Z * House of Hepworths * I Heart Naptime * Kurtz Corner * Mums Make Lists * My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia * New Nostalgia * Shabby Creek Cottage * Southern Lovely * Sumo's Sweet Stuff

We are winners!

Our builder just informed us that our home won first place in the Green Home category for the local Home Builders Association awards! We are so happy for them, and of course, thrilled with our new home.

The judges remarks were: "The 'green' design of the home would not be noticable without intimate knowledge of the details. In this case, the details exude the quality of design throughout the entire home."

A big shout-out from us to all the building and design teams that helped our dream become a reality and now an award-winning house on top of that. Thank you!

Remembering Daniel

Like most of the world, we were horrified by the events in Newtown, CT on December 14, 2012. To be honest, I limited my exposure to the news coverage, in part because my heart couldn't handle the grief, and in large part because I was shielding our four-year-old son from learning how evil our world can be.

When I learned that one of the victims shared our son's name, I felt a deep connection to and sorrow for his family. With Christmas so close, I looked at the gifts under our Christmas tree, and thought of all the families who would not see their little ones tear open their packages. We had just celebrated our Daniel's birthday, so I couldn't help but think of all the birthdays Daniel Barden would not reach.

As a parent, I tried to think of how to process such overwhelming grief in a way that is honest and helpful, but doesn't introduce fear to our child. I love the idea of the 26 acts of kindness that many are doing.  In a more specific way, we made a donation to the Daniel Barden fund. But I wanted to think of something that would keep Daniel's memory alive in our family, not only as a reminder to savor the time we have together and not take it for granted, but also to remember to pray God's continuing comfort and blessing over Daniel Barden's family.

It's so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but I found three things we could do:

1. First, I created a Google Alert for "Daniel Barden." Whenever there is a media mention of Daniel, I get an email with link. This reminds me to pray for his family, and keeps me aware of any needs that family may have. 
2. Second, I joined the What Would Daniel Do Facebook page to learn more about the kind, musical, sweet boy who was taken too soon. 
3. I framed a photo of Daniel Barden and always keep a candle next to it. We light it when we have a celebration. So far, we've lit it for Christmas dinner, our New Year's party, and my birthday. It's a way for us to remember Daniel as we celebrate all the milestones and moments of our life, and a way to appreciate the time we have together.

Our Daniel doesn't know what happened at Sandy Hook. When we showed him the photo of Daniel Barden, we said that he was another little boy, just a little older than him, who went to heaven, and that his family is very sad. Our tenderhearted son, upon taking in this information, leaned forward and kissed the frame.

On Christmas Eve, our church sang "Silent Night" acoustically, with white candles lit. My mom and I couldn't help but think of the SNL tribute and could hardly hold ourselves together. We had twenty-seven candles of our own ready to lit at dinner.

We also have a frame with a list of all twenty-seven victims. (Note: we chose to honor the shooter's mother as a victim as well).

As time goes on, we plan to continue to make "lighting Daniel's candle" part of our family tradition. Daniel's candle was lit for our New Year's party.

And again on my birthday this week. 

I wasn't sure I was even going to post about this. It's certainly not the usual happy post, but today I learned that a friend's mom died unexpectedly two days ago (on my birthday). Today is her birthday. It is also my mom's birthday. I called my mom in tears to wish her happy birthday today. In five days, it will be nine years since I sustained my traumatic brain injury. Life can change so quickly. Part of Daniel Barden's legacy is to help us remember that truth.

Linked to:

Alderberry Hill *  Blissful & Domestic * Bowl Full of Lemons * Carolyn's Homework * Clean & Scentsible * Crystal & Co * The Grant Life * Happy Hour Projects * Home Stories from A to Z * House of Hepworths *  I Heart Naptime * It's Overflowing * Kurtz Corner * My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia * New Nostalgia * Nifty Thrifty Things * Shabby Creek Cottage * Shabby Nest * Simply Designing * Southern Lovely * Sumo's Sweet Stuff * Tatertots & Jello * That's What Che Said

If money were no object...

Looking at other home build blogs we sometimes think to ourselves what if money were no object to improve the performance and quality of our house with the caveat that we basically keep the same design, the below list are some examples of what we would do differently.

Please join us in dreaming and let us know in the comments section what your 'Cadillac' features would be...

Basement:

·         Vapor barrier underneath basement floor
·         Insuldeck (ICF-style) floor (R25) - with Radiant heat
·         2^nd water line / meter for outside water use feeding into own (2^nd ) PEX / Monoblock piping
·         10” ICF walls with additional foam to reach a minimum of R30, heck let's do R45... ;-)
·         Excavation under the garage and porches (same 10” ICF walls as above)

Main level flooring:

·         Metal open web trusses
·          Insuldeck floor (R25) - with Radiant heat including the garage and porch floors
·         0.5” additional sound-blocking and fire-retardant covering the Insuldeck
·         Horizontal and vertical conduits for wiring

Main level:

·         10” ICF walls with additional foam to reach a minimum of R30, heck let's do R45... ;-)
·         Garage walls using same walls as the rest of the house
·         Vertical conduits for wiring
·         Triple-pane windows (but use proper coating to allow solar gain where needed)
·         Extend garage 2 feet forward
·         Extend living / dining room 2 feet to the back

Upper level flooring:

·          Insuldeck floor (R25) - with Radiant heat
·         0.5” additional sound-blocking and fire-retardant covering the Insuldeck
·         Horizontal and vertical conduits for wiring

Upper level:

·         10” ICF walls with additional foam to reach a minimum of R30, heck let's do R45... ;-)
·         Vertical conduits for wiring
·         Triple-pane windows (but use proper coating to allow solar gain where needed)

Attic flooring:

·         Insuldeck floor + additional insulation to reach R60 attic insulation
·         0.5” additional sound-blocking and fire-retardant covering the Insuldeck
·         Horizontal and vertical conduits for wiring

Attic / Roof:

·         SIPs panels for roofline with hurricane-proof tie-ins to the ICF walls
·         Metal roof + solar panels

General:

·         Geothermal heating/cooling 
·         Solar driveway and patios
·         Solar-assist for hot water (assisting the Geo)
·         Roof-mounted air blowers for near-silent kitchen vent hood

·         High-capacity ERV with full humidity control
·         Integrated Whole-house generator (200A)
·         10’ ceilings throughout – including basement -  except great room (keeping at 14.5’)
·         Whole-house sprinkler system (although might be redundant with all the ICF walls and floors)
·         Whole-house smart outlets / lights (all controllable via Web / Apps)
·         Whole-house entertainment (audio / video / internet)
·         All (O)LED lighting and screens

Note that the vast majority of these items would be nearly invisible as they relate mostly to structure and add a SIGNIFICANT cost to your build. Subsequently, most return-on-investment criteria for the above are to be ignored. Hey, we did say ‘if money were no object’, right? ;-)

More Housekeeping...About Us page

We're doing our best to make our blog as friendly as can be. We've taken some good advice and added a new About Us page.

You can check it out here.

Happy Thoughts - Printables

I've had a lot of fun playing around with PicMonkey lately. It's been a great help as we've started putting watermarks on our photos. This week I made a few things just for fun.

I took this picture of my son a few days ago. He was being so silly dancing in the snow. I love his confidence and it reminded me of this saying.

I wrote this phrase in my last post. It was my mantra during brain injury recovery and it still serves me well. 

I have taken advantage of other blogger's generosity with printables in our great room and master bedroom. If any of our readers would like to tell me how to makes these available, I'd be happy to share! In the meantime, if you right click on an image, and highlight "save as," you should be able to print it out in any size you'd like.

Linked to:
Alderberry Hill * Blissful & Domestic * Bowl of Lemons * Carolyn's Homework * Clean & Scentsible * Crystal & Co * The Grant Life * Happy Hour Projects * Home Stories from A to Z * House of Hepworths * I Heart Naptime * It's Overflowing * Just Us Four * Kurtz Corner * Mums Make Lists * My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia * New Nostalgia * Nifty Thrifty Things * Shabby Creek Cottage * Shabby Nest  * Simply Designing * Southern Lovely * Sumo's Sweet Stuff * Tatertots & Jello * That's What Che Said 

41

Today is my 41st birthday.

I realized this morning that I am comfortable with my life. I love my husband, my son, and my daughter-on-loan. I love our new house. Thanks to Facebook, I feel connected to my friends and family, even if I'm not able to see them as often as I think of them. I may never be svelte, but I nourish my body with good food and lots of exercise. I have come to peace with the limitations of my brain injury, even if those limitations still frustrate me at times. Being married, having a child (two this year!), I feel like my life is on track. I have made peace with my gray, thin hair, and I rather like the laugh lines that offer evidence of all the joy I have found in my forty-one years. I still think my eyes are my best feature, even if they don't see well enough for me to drive long distances, or at night, or in bad weather, or on unfamiliar highways.

I don't really live by a to do list because I can't take my abilities each day for granted. All I can do is all I can do and that's all I can do. Some days I can do a lot: cook meals, organize our house, create projects, play with my son. Other days, getting out of bed and taking a shower is a big accomplishment. As much as my husband and I try to plans my days so I can live them as fully as possible, not everything can be anticipated, like my normally easy-going son acting out in school and hitting a girl.

Today started well. A flooded Facebook wall with well wishes. D happily running to his preschool class. An early morning yoga session. Some much needed "me" time. But, on a dime, hearing about D's bad choice, praying that I would respond well, and helping him understand how his actions hurt another, now my head is exploding and all I want to do is lay in bed. A nap will do us both well and tomorrow is a new day.

New location - same great info

Some little big news... The De Jong Dream House now has its very own domain. Since the blog has grown significantly we decided that a proper domain was in order. Our new home is:

http://www.dejongdreamhouse.com

What started as a simple brain jogger for us and keeping our family and updated on the decision-making process of building our dreamhouse has grown to the current wealth of information on building a new house, the process of doing so and since February 2012 the day-to-day living in and organizing of our dreamhouse.

Rest assured, the familiar blogspot URL remains available and will automatically redirect you to our new very own domain.

That's all... ;-)

Meet "Mehitable Days"

Welcome to Mehitable Days

When we first started blogging, it was mostly for our own memory of why we made the decisions we did, and so that our family and friends around the world could stalk  follow along with our progress. As time when on, however, our traffic kept growing and we learned that there were a few others out there interested in building earth-friendly and/or energy-efficient and/or universal designed and/or new custom homes. (A big hello to you!)

As we are now starting to get a handle on what we're doing and learning about Google Analytics and such, we're finding out a little bit about our visitors and how they are finding us. 

Yesterday, I learned about Mehitable Days, a blogger from Wyoming who put our Building Terms page to good use as they were building their gorgeous arts and crafts home (pictured above). Since they publicly thanked us, I wanted to share the love and direct you to a tour of their home, here and here.

If our blog has been a help to you in your build, please let us know so we can take a tour!

"We Do" Gallery

Now that the holidays are over, I'm finally taking the time to post about some of our latest projects. Today I'm going to write about another gallery. Yes, I may have a slight addiction to photo galleries. 

When Niels and I got married five years ago, we had white wood letters spelling out "We Do" on our cake table. 

Since our honeymoon, we've used those letters as decor in our master bedroom. We liked "we do" better than "I do" because of course, we both chose to get married. When our son started noticing our wedding bands, he called them our "we do" rings. I knew that I wanted to make a "we do" wall, but it took a little time--made longer by lots of sentimental trips down memory lane--to decide on the photos. 

A bit about our story. Niels and I met online in September 2006. He was sure pretty quickly that he wanted to marry. I was a little gun shy. I spent Christmas of 2006 in China visiting some of my best friends, who had just moved there a few months early. Niels spent that Christmas in the Netherlands with his family. The day after I arrived in China, a tsunami knocked out all the underwater network lines, which meant I couldn't access my email from home. However, I couldn't connect with the Netherlands. So Niels called my family to tell them I had arrived safely...and introduced himself as my boyfriend. I had also planned to pay my bills online, but since the internet was out for almost the full three weeks I was in China, I took the leap to trust Niels with my bank password so he could pay my bills. Over that time, not being able to communicate well or often, I realized how much I missed him. Talking to my friends, they helped me realize that Niels was exactly the kind of man I had been praying to find. On the first night I returned home, Niels came over and we talked long into the night about how we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. In March of 2007, we flew to the Netherlands, where my dad had a short layover on his way to Israel with my sisters and brother-in-law. I met Niels' family, and Niels was able to ask for my dad's blessing. A few days later, we went to Paris, and Niels proposed at the foot of the Eiffel Tower. Clearly travel was a big part of our courtship!

So, the challenge was to figure out how to put all those memories on our wall! I started by playing around with a layout, and then listed favorite memories of our life together.

I bought a variety of frames and shadow boxes with white and silver frames. Then I found photos and mementos that worked.

Once again, we used command strips to attach the frames to the wall. They are so easy to use. 

It was a little confusing when all the frames were flipped, so I was glad to have my cheat sheet!

We used our level for spacing to make it easier on ourselves.

Niels liked the first row of photos so much, we were tempted to stop there.

Then we lined up the four 5x7's along the top.

From there, we started working down.

And then we completed the outer square.

Finally, we filled in the middle.

I'm so happy to have all these fun moments to look at when I wake up each day.

Here's a tour of some of the photos. 

Engagement day!

We say Niels is beckoning me over to the Dutch side in this picture. I'm in Belgium and he's in the Netherlands.

I love this free printable from Sweet Rose Studio. It comes in several designs and colors so you can download your own.

We had our engagement photos taken at the Keukenhof in the Netherlands--the most amazing  flower garden in the world. 

This is the card I gave Niels just before he headed to the airport before Christmas. I made him wait awhile, but his Christmas gift was our first kiss.

After we lost our second baby, I was pretty down. We booked an Alaskan cruise for my due date so I would have something to look forward to experiencing. As it turned out, I got pregnant again and SO sick. It took some bartering, but my OB cleared me to go, and it was the one and only week of my pregnancy that I was feeling good.

One of my favorite wedding day photos was taken by Niels with our rings and the local paper.

I love this photo from our first trip to Europe. Clearly we were still in our silly courtship days. I have no idea what Niels was doing, but I love the look on my face. It's the same one my Grampa Leo made.


This photo was taken in Niels' hometown, at the castle where his parents were married.


When we planned our honeymoon, we did not think through the folly of needing to be at the airport at 4:30 the next morning. So I flew with my veil on and took out the 16,000 bobby pins when we arrived in Curacao.

More than a decade before I met Niels, I started praying for my future husband. This is the list of character qualities I prayed that my husband would possess. Nearly every day, I prayed these things for him, and I love seeing this evidence of God's answered prayers.

For our initials, we couldn't find a plus side or ampersand, so we decided to use a foam cross instead. 

This shadow box includes mementos from our wedding day: our program, invitation, and  name cards. We had an international theme. Each table had a destination and the name cards were tickets to that destination. Our table was Curacao, our honeymoon destination.

I love this picture of our late great Bailey.

Another photo from our wedding day. We used this photo for our first Christmas cards. The rhinestone Eiffel Tower was pinned to my bouquet. 

This photo was taken a few weeks before D was born. We made a choice to not have pictures of our son on  this gallery, but he did sneak in a little bit. 

We had grand plans for a Vegas getaway this spring with just the two of us. D's dog allergy prevented the alone time we were hoping for, but we still had a great time with D and my mom.

We haven't made it to Italy yet, but we did get a gondola ride ride in Vegas.

My favorite photo of Niels, from a recent date we had.

Another free printable I love. This one is from Eighteen25 and is also available in several colors.

This looks like it's in London, but it's Lake Havasu, Arizona, where the old London bridge has been rebuilt. (We are going to the UK this summer!)

Another photo from the Keukenhof. I like this picture because it pays homage to my favorite photo of my mom and dad.

This is the latest in our collection of photo galleries. Click on the links below to check out the rest:

Anniversary Gallery

Growing Up Gallery

Great Room Great Moments Gallery

Little Great Room Gallery

Visual Guest Book

Linked to:
36th Avenue * 52 Mantels * ADD Housewife * Alderberry Hill * Between Naps on the Porch * Blissful & Domestic * A Bowl Full of Lemons * Capturing Joy * Carolyn's Homework * Clean & Scentsible * Coastal Charm * Crafty Scrappy Happy *  Crystal and Co * Debbie Debbie Doo's * DIY Showoff * Domestically Speaking * Ginger Snap Crafts * Grant Life * Happy Go Lucky * Happy Hour Projects * Home Stories From A to Z *  House of Hepworths * I Heart Naptime * It's Overflowing * Kurtz Corner * Made in a Day * My Daily Photo Journey * My Favorite Finds (featured) My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia * New Nostalgia * Nifty Thrifty Things * Rainbows and Honeysuckle * Shabby Creek Cottage * Shabby Nest * Simply Designing * SNAP! * Southern Lovely * Sumo's Sweet Stuff * Tatertots & Jello * That's Why Che Said * Thrifty Decor Chick * We are That Family